Escaping Reality
by XxALonelyDreamerxX
Summary: "You're just so messed up in your mind you cannot see what's inside mine." 》A Wolfstar Fanfiction
1. Chapter 1

The air was cold, sending a chilling shock up his spine. Sirius stood facing away from his parents, yet he could feel their cold glare on him. He couldn't decide which was colder, the frozen wind blowing by, or the gaze his parents where sporting.

"Well, start moving! We're meant to be there early!" His father gave him a rough shove forwards, the smaller being losing his balance quickly, falling down onto the hard concrete ground below.

"Watch where you're going you brat! You're supposed to look presentable!" Orion snapped at him, harshly yanking him up by the collar of his button down.

He desperately wanted to snap back at his father, but something in his brain told him not to, he could tell his parents weren't in a very good mood.

"Yes father." He grumbled, and began to walk out into the street, refusing to look back at his parents, who were walking behind him slowly, still glaring at him as if to silently judge him.

"Boy, stop walking." His father barked, yanking him backwards.

"Because of you we're late. We'll just have to apparate there." His voice was emotionless as he grabbed his wife and Sirius' hands, gripping Sirius' a little more forcefully than he had to.

They arrived in Diagon Alley with much time to spare, but unfortunately, the time blessed would not be spent enjoying the beauty and joy of Diagon Alley, but suffering quietly in Borgin & Burkes, the dust filling his lungs crudely.

"Ahhh...Bella! How nice to see you again." His mother smiled at his cousin, who had walked into the store, a slightly shorter, blonde headed Narrcissa beside her.

"You too Aunt Walburga." She replied, hugging Sirius' mother happily.

"What are you doing here in Diagon Alley? You graduated two years ago!" His father exclaimed, his normally stotic face erupted into a smile.

"Oh, I'm shopping for Cissy here, she's starting her 5th year." Bellatrix slung her arm around around Narcissa with a slight smirk, harshly pulling her close. Narcissa had a look of discomfort on her face as Bellatrix boasted about her sister proudly. She pulled away from her elder sister and sat beside a quiet Sirius, who bitterly glanced at his older cousin.

"Hello Sirius." She whispered, her voice shaky. Her hands rested in her lap politely. She was a true Black.

"Hey..." He replied, not particularly caring whether he sounded rude. He could care less at the moment.

"How are you?" She asked, her voice tight. Sirius glanced at her, his stare reading, "Are you seriously asking?"

As much as he wanted to say that, he instead let out a weak, "I'm fine, you?" Her eyebrow raised suspiciously, as if to say, "You're talking to me?"

"I'm fine." Sirius nodded, a small, bitter smile forming on his face as he realised this was the longest conversation he and his cousin had had in 5 years, since Narcissa began Hogwarts.

"Well, come on Cissy, we better go pick up the rest of your books." Bellatrix said, pulling her sister to her feet.

"Aunt Walburga, Uncle Orion, goodbye." She said with a smile, bowing slightly as she walked out the door, a slightly confused look on her face.

After all his items were picked out, the trio apparted back home, where Orion shoved him inside, rage on his face.

"What the fuck was that you scum?!" His father yelled, pushing him to the ground. His mother walked past the two without so much of a second glance.

"What did i do this time?!" He yelled back, groaning as his father pounded his foot onto Sirius' chest, knocking the breath from his lungs.

His father began mindlessly yelling at him, stomping on him angrily. Sirius felt a horrible pain in his chest and he gasped, his rib was probably broken.

"Father?" Sirius looked back to see Regulus, his younger brother, standing on the staircase.

"Regulus! G-go back upstairs." Sirius yelled, earning a smack from his father.

"Go upstairs Regulus, I'll be up in a little while." He father said, pausing his beating just long enough for Sirius to stand up and scramble upstairs, heading into his room.

He crawled under the bed, the makeshift hangout area underneath the bed covered in dust. He blew off the pillow and blanket, checking for spiders before laying down, facing the wall. A box sat in front of him with photos and cards in it. He smiled, these were all the photos and cards he and James had gathered in the 4 years they had known each other.

"Siri?" Regulus called out, opening the door to his brother's room. Sirius cursed in his head, his brother was always so damn curious.

"Where are you? Mum and Dad left to go out somewhere...Please come out..." Sirius sighed, kicking off the blanket before sliding out from under the bed.

"Why was dad beating you?" He asked innocently, sitting down on the bed beside his older brother.

"I don't know Reg, but I promise he'll never lay a finger on you."


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius lay on his bed, staring mindlessly up at the bare white ceiling above. His thoughts were clouded as his mind whirled with ideas.

"Siri?" Sirius flinched, the voice of his little brother breaking him out of his trance.

"Aye?" His voice was weak, as he was still recovering from his beating just 5 days prior.

"Mum wants you..." Regulus' head was bowed low, and his eyes were puffy, signaling that either he had been crying or was about to currently cry. Neither choice of which Sirius wanted.

"Reg? Are you crying?" He stood in front of his brother and lifted his head up, hissing when he saw a fine line of red painted onto Regulus' fair skin.

"I-I'm fine Siri...Go downstairs and talk with mum..." Regulus said harshly, pulling away from Sirius and turned around, heading out of the room in a fit. Sirius shook his head sadly and walked down the stairs, seeing his mother standing beside his father, quietly talking to him, seemingly begging.

"Regulus informed me you wanted me. Why?" His voice was ruff with his parents, he could not show the pair who had hurt Regulus any respect.

"Don't talk to me so ungratefully!" His father boomed, smacking Sirius, his ring sliding across Sirius's cheek. He flinched as he felt it pierce the skin, probably leaving the same cut as he brother wore.

"You, boy, are going to spend the rest of your summer with the Potters, I refuse to look at your ugly, disgraceful face any longer!" His father exclaimed. Sirius looked down, but he could see his father's arm reach to yank his head up, before his mother reached out and placed her hand on Orion's arm, stopping him.

"Orion stop, leave the boy alone. Sirius, go up and pack your things, i'll apparate you there afterwards." Sirius nodded and ran up the stairs, desperate to get away from his parents.

He opened up the wardrobe and grabbed a few of his shirts and jeans he had gotten from muggle stores on his trips with the Potters and shoved then into his bag, while packing his school supplies in a separate bag. His owl hooted in the corner and he smiled, ruffling his feathers affectionately.

"Its okay Legolas, I'm taking you with me." He whispered, rubbing his head before shutting the cage and placing it on the bed.

He looked up when he heard a knock on his door. Regulus was standing there, tears trailing down his face.

"Reg? Please don't-" His brother ran up to him and wrapped his arms around Sirius' thin frame, burying his face in Sirius' oversized tan wool jumper.

"Please don't leave Siri!" He cried, wetting the shirt and he sobbed into his older brother's torso.

"Why Reg?" He sat down on the bed, his brother sitting on his lap, now crying into his collarbone.

"Reg, please stop crying...Talk to Siri." He pulled his hair into a loose ponytail then wrapped his arms around his brother, rubbing his back, trying to make him stop crying.

"I-I-I don't want you to leave..." He whispered, tears still flowing down his cheeks.

"Reggy, I have too. You'll be safe here. I'm not gonna let Mum and Dad hurt you." He whispered gently, pressing a small kiss to the younger's forehead.

"But I'm not gonna get to see you..." He cried, rubbing his eyes sadly, his eyes wide as he looked at his brother. Sirius sighed, he looked so innocent, so pure...How was he at all related to the monsters that were their parents?

"You'll get to see me at Summer Break, I'll be coming back at break." He said, running his fingers through Regulus' fine black hair.

"You're not coming back for Christmas?!" Regulus exclaimed, tears again pouring over his cheeks.

"Reggy, you know Mother and Father, they won't allow me to come home." Sirius sighed, rocking his brother back and forth.

"Will you write to me?" Regulus asked quietly, looking at his lap. Sirius smiled.

"Of course Reg, as much as you want me to..." He said, sighing as his door opened once more, the sight of his mother slightly alarming.

"Sirius, it's time to go. Regulus? Why on Earth are you crying?" His mother asked, walking over to her two sons.

"I don't want Siri to leave..." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes tearfully.

"Oh Reggy, I don't necessarily want Sirius to leave either-" She looked up into Sirius' eyes, who turned to face the wall. He couldn't look at his mother.

"-But father will not let him stay. I certainly did beg him, but he listened not." Walburga murmured, hugging Regulus, her fingers tangled into his into raven locks.

"Regulus? Would you like to come with us to say bye to Sirius?" Regulus shook his head, pulling away from his mum to wipe his eyes.

"N-No...I'll stay here..." He said, turning around to hug Sirius.

"Bye Siri...I love you..." Regulus whispered, hugging Sirius tightly. Sirius smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Bye Reggy, i love you too, I'll see you over summer."

Walburga and Sirius stood in front of the Potters' house, both of them standing there silently.

"Well, goodbye son...Have a good time at school..." They stood awkwardly, neither knowing what to do. Sirius sighed, and walked up to his mother, hugging her suddenly.

"Bye mum...I love you..." It hurt him to say that, he didn't know if he believed it even.

"Bye Sirius. I love you too my son..." She hugged him back before pulling away, apparating back to their house.

Sirius sighed and began to walk up the the Potters' door, knocking with tears in his eyes.

"Coming!" He heard Mrs. Potter yell, and he smiled, he always loved Mrs. Potter. She was so sweet and caring.

"Oh! Sirius! How nice is it to see you again!" She said happily, engulfing him into a warm hug. She was a slightly plump woman, and he blushed as he head was pushed into her exposed cleavage.

"Hello Mrs. Potter. Is-" He smiled as James ran to him, burying his face into his neck.

"I missed you so much Sirius!" James exclaimed, pushing away and planting his hands on Sirius' shoulders.

"Oh my Merlin! Sirius?! Do you remember the apple tree we planted last summer?! It's grown and the apples taste so sweet! Come on! Let's go see it!" He grabbed Sirius' wrist and began to drag Sirius towards the bad of the house.

"Gosh James! The poor thing just got here, don't pull him apart just yet." Mrs. Potter laughed, walking past the pair.

"I'll begin dinner, what would you like Sirius?" She asked sweetly, staring at him.

Sirius flushed, he hadn't been treated with that amount of kindness since the last time he had come to the Potters' home. He didn't know how to reply so he just let out a weak, "It's up to you...I don't want to be bothersome."

James stared at him incredulously, before breaking out into laughter along with Mrs. Potter. Sirius didn't understand why, he was greatly confused. The laughter died down and Mrs. Potter smiled at him.

"You could never be a bother, i'd much rather have you as a son than that creature as a child. You should've seen him last night after I told him you were coming, he was bouncing off the walls, that child." She shook her head and chuckled, before asking again what he would like.

"Actually, would you and James like to go pick some apples? I'll make some apple pie for you boys while your father is off at work." James nodded and continued dragging Sirius outside, both boys doubled over laughing by the time they reached the tree.

Sirius sighed happily, it had been a long time since he had felt this happy and carefree. Not having to worry about having to keep up his calm demeanor to avoid a beating from his father or worrying over Regulus and making sure he was safe. He was in a state of pure bliss as he and James climbed up the ladder to the apples, picking out the firmest, sweetest ones for Mrs. Potter's apple pie.

The sweet smell of the baking pie was almost intoxicating as Sirius and James sat on the rug playing wizard's chess, the tune James was humming setting peacefully in Sirius's ears.

"Boys! The pie is ready!" Mrs. Potter called out, sticking her head into the living area, smiling at the two. James nodded and stood up, giving Sirius a smile as he reached out to help him too.

"Here you go, and here you go!" He cut them both a slice and put it on a plate, handing it to them sweetly.

"You two can go eat that outside, but James, don't venture out past the river without your father here, you know how he gets." She sighed and chuckled as the boys ran outside and up the tree, settling on two incredibly wide branches.

"So how have you been?" James asked as he shoved a piece of pie into his mouth, a dripping of red sauce pooling on the side of his lip. Sirius smiled and wiped it away before sighed heavily.

"I've been...okay...I mean, I'm still alive, that's something, right?" He chuckled bitterly at the end, stabbing his pie.

James sighed, "I know your home life isn't the best...and by the way...Why _are_ you staying with us?" He was curious, and that bugged Sirius.

"My dad didn't want to have to deal with me I guess..." Sirius muttered, placing a bite of pie in his mouth. It was sweet, almost too sweet. He wanted to gag as the sugary substance ran down his throat. It had been a long time since he had had something that sweet.

"Oh..." They said no more as they ate in silence, the only noise coming from the birds and forest creatures below.

James lead him upstairs, into James' bedroom, which was adorned with Quidditch posters and Gryffindor flags. Of course Sirius knew the house, his parents despised it, why, he knew not. All he knew is that every Black family member was a Slytherin, expect for a very distant uncle who was a Ravenclaw, whom his parents had blasted off the family tapestry.

"You can sleep on the bed." James said, already pulling blankets out of the closet to put on the floor. Sirius vigorously shook his head. He would sleep on the floor, he was the guest, James could sleep on the bed.

"No no, I insist Siri, you may have the bed." James said, giving Sirius a smile. Sirius again shook his head and James laughed.

"Then lets just both sleep on the bed, it's big enough for us both you think?" Sirius nodded and James smiled, laying down, which Sirius did rather hesitantly as well.

"Goodnight Siri." James said, closing his eyes as he rolled over to face Sirius.

"Night Jamesy-Poo." He smirked, closing his eyes as well.

Goodnight indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius awoke to James' arms thrown around his thin frame, their legs tangled together. Mrs. Potter stood in the doorway with a nostalgic smile on her wrinkled features.

"He missed you terribly Sirius, ever since you stopped writing back to him he'd just sit in his room and mop. Every morning he'd wake up and run downstairs to see if the owl had brought a letter from you back, and if it didn't, he'd become...bland...and walk outside to the tree and just sit there for days. I hate it for him, that you two aren't close enough to visit...that your family refuses to let him see you in their home." She finished with a simple sigh, her gaze focused on the body of James, who's back was rising and falling steadily, still asleep.

"I'm sorry I don't get to visit more, Mrs. Potter. I love seeing James. And you said he writes to me? I've not received letter from him since last summer when I came to visit." Sirius' voice was deep, laced with sleepiness. Mrs. Potter frowned and shook her head slowly, lowering her gaze.

"Well, no matter that now. Come down for breakfast whenever you please, I've made another apple pie, fresh bacon, and I'll start some omelettes if you would like one." She said sweetly, before walking back down the stairs, the creaking of the floorboards the only noise. Sirius nodded and laid back down, smiling at James' sleeping figure.

"James? Wake up, it's morning." He whispered, placing a bony hand on his friend's shoulder. James stirred and groaned quietly, rolling over. He batted Sirius' hand away tiredly, burying up under the covers. Sirius chuckled and sighed. This called for extreme measures. He carefully slid from James' grasp, and walked to the side of the bed James was currently sleeping. He smirked down at the figure below before jumping onto him, Laughing loudly.

"DOG PILE!" He yelled tickling James excitedly. He giggled as James groaned and began to wiggle, sleepy laughter bubbling in his throat.

"WAKEY WAKEY!" Sirius laughed, his fingers sliding around James' sides. Jame began to wiggle and laugh loudly, trying to push the trying male off of his pelvis area.

By now Sirius was straddling James, a gleeful look on his face while below him James cringed and kicked at the air, his lungs filling with air as he laughed loudly.

"I-I-I give! SIRI I GIVE!" He laughed loudly, smiling as Sirius sat down on his thighs, smirking at him.

"Breakfast is ready." He whispered, lowering his body onto James' his face against James' ear. James blushed, causing Sirius to laugh, before he jumped off of James and onto the hard wooden floors, sprinting down the stairs.

They all sat around the kitchen table, Mrs and Mr. Potter chatting quietly while James and Sirius ate in silence.

"So, boys. Would you boys like to play some Quidditch this afternoon? Some of James' cousins are coming over for a visit and they're bringing their brooms and Quidditch balls." James vigorously nodded, his face breaking out into a smile.

"Lizzy and Luna?!" James squealed, causing Sirius to giggle.

"Yup." Mr. Potter replied, taking a bite of his omelette.

"Who?" Sirius asked, looking at Mrs. and Mr. Potter with a confused expression on his face. If they were related to James, they were in some form or fashion related to him as well.

"Lizzy Thomas Potter and Luna Thomas Potter. You wouldn't know them, the branch started from the Black family but were blasted off as their great-great-great-great grandmother married a half-blood that married a Potter...it's very confusing. All you gotta know is Lizzy is in her 5th year at Hogwarts and Luna is in her 6th year at Ilvermorny."

"Where's that?" He asked, suddenly intrigued. Mrs. Potter smiled, placing her knife on her plate.

"It's basically Hogwarts but for American folk." She laughed, her sweet brown eyes glowing. Sirius nodded and sighed, pushing his plate away from him.

"Are you full sweetheart? You barely even touched your omelette!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, placing a hand on Sirius' arm.

"Y-yes Mrs. Potter. I'm finished. May I be excused?" He was so used to being polite after meals that it stuck with Mrs. Potter, even if he knew she wouldn't beat him if he didn't use proper manners.

"Of course My Dear, but come back down if a few minutes if you would, the cherry pie is almost done!"

Sirius stood at the sink, his hands pressed firmly against the counter, staring at his reflection in the mirror. The dim lights shone of Sirius' pale, sunken in face, highlighting the heavy purple-black bags that rested under his eyes from his lack of sleep. His cheeks were dotted with light freckles, ones that set him away from his parents and younger brother. He bent over, bending at the hip, his head ducked between his arms and he sighed.

His fingers made their way to his mouth and to the back of his throat, where he began to heave, tears stinging his stormy grey eyes. Chucks of his breakfast appeared in front of him, making him want to throw up more; the sight was sickening.

He was taught to do this from a young child, around the age of 6 or 7. His aunt was boasting about how beautiful and "sexy" Bellatrix was, how she was a respectable "Black" and how Sirius, even if he was severely underweight for a 6 year old, his aunt and father agreed that he was too "un-fit" and "needed to diet". It was at the age his father began making him throw up after dinner, that way he got rid of any food from the whole day. At the age of 8, he began to force him to throw up after every meal, sometimes "forgetting" to feed him, but still making him vomit whatever was in his stomach.

Though he knew his father was not around to yell and beat him, the habit continued, and he kept following the dangerous path at he was treading down.

He heaved a few more times until nothing but acid that burned his throat and tongue were coming up and he raised his head, his eyes seeing the pitiful state he was in. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and sighed, wincing at the pain in his throat.

"Siri? Mum just got an owl saying Lizzy and Luna are about an hour away, are you okay? You've been in there awhile." James' voice startled Sirius for a moment before he shook it off and nodded, though he knew James couldn't see him.

"I'm fine James, I'll be out In a moment." He croaked, his voice hoarse. James nodded, though Sirius couldn't see him.

"Okay, come down whenever Siri."

Sirius walked downstairs, pausing as he heard hushed whispers coming from below him.

"-I don't know Mum. He seemed a little off...I'm worried about him. I don't wanna lose him." James. Of course. Sirius sighed, rolling his eyes. He was fine, there was anything wrong with him.

"James sweetie, he's fine. He probably had an upset stomach, I think the eggs were a little too runny, I'll run out and get a potion to help later on in the evening. How about you run along upstairs or outside to wait for Lizzy and Luna?" He heard Mrs. Potter say, her voice overly-sweet.

"...Okay..." James replied, followed by the sound of footsteps coming closer to the stairwell. He acted like he was about to start going down the stairs, which startled James.

"Oh! Siri! Hey! You feeling okay? You were in there for like 10 minutes." James frowned lightly, his brown eyes searching Sirius' stormy grey ones.

"Yeah I'm fine, my stomach hurts a bit, think I ate too much." He forced a laugh, giving his friend a smile.

"Okay! Well what do ya wanna do?" James asked, his eyes twinkling. Sirius loved James, brotherly love of course, but love nonetheless. James was always smiling, he was never down, he never seemed to be sad. James deserved to be happy, to be blissfully gleeful. He deserved everything the world couldn't give him.

"-Hello? Siri? You listening? What's wrong mate?" James snapped Sirius out of his thoughts. He blushed and lowered his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I-I'm fine. Just zoned out I guess. Do you wanna play some Exploding Snaps?" He asked, hoping the was distract James from his odd behaviour.

It did.

James' face lit up with a grin and he nodded, running into his room to give the game before running back out, the smile still present on his features.

"Prepare to get beat!" He smirked at Sirius.

"We'll see about that."


End file.
